March 30, 2022

If You’re Wrong It’s Meaningless, But If I’m Wrong It’s Valuable | Peter Montoya

As the political divide between left and right widens in the US and around the world, we seem to spend increasing amounts of time focusing on the idea that other people are wrong. But what if we stopped arguing about facts and talked about improving ourselves instead?

“All of my knowledge is temporary, pending new information.”

This is a motto that guest Peter Montoya lives by, which questions our own ego and behavior, more than other people’s.

Peter Montoya is the author of The Second Civil War: A Citizen's Guide to Healing Our Fractured Nation, which we understand to be the first “political self help” for Americans. Instead of pointing the finger of blame at one side or the other, Peter challenges us to look inward at our own behavior, our own ego battle and our own craving to belong which can reveal a lot about the relationships we are building.

Looking inwards is a personal journey that Peter has recently taken himself and we are incredibly grateful to him for the vulnerability and openness he shows in this episode. We are all just trying to be a better version of ourselves and we can see this endeavor reflected in the stories that Peter shares with us.

If you enjoyed listening to this episode, we would be grateful if you could donate to our work through Patreon. Contributions we receive from listeners are used to fund the work on our podcast, and help ensure we can deliver more great content to you. Thank you!


(7:19) Why do people fight on social media?

(13:31) Why do we need a political self help book?

(15:51) Arguing about politics really is stupid; but what’s the alternative?

(20:43) What to do about social media and news rewarding extreme stories.

(26:19) Why don’t facts or morality matter when changing minds?

(29:34) What are our actual differences vs. our perceived differences?

(30:13) Change starts with ourselves.

(33:19) Understanding our own ego.

(35:09) When you change yourself, you change your relationships.

(47:17) The greatest song Peter has ever heard.

(53:31) Grooving Session discussing what we’ve learnt from Peter.


© 2021 Behavioral Grooves


Peter Montoya:

“The Second Civil War: A Citizen's Guide to Healing Our Fractured Nation” by Peter Montoya: 

Interested in becoming an Urth Co-Creator? Visit: 

Episode 215, Secrets of Subtraction: Donut Holes, Lego and Bruce Springsteen with Leidy Klotz:

Episode 10, Changing the World One View at a Time – with Reddit Superstar Kal Turnbull: 

Dances with Wolves: 

The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman: 

Glossary of Behavioral Terms: 

Episode 283, Henry Gee - Is The Anus Really The Key To All Intelligent Life? 

Episode 226, The Power of Unity: Robert Cialdini Expands His Best Selling Book Influence: 

Episode 279, We Are Greater Together; The Power Of Belonging with Dominic Packer PhD:  

Behavioral Grooves Patreon Page:

Musical Links

The Beatles “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”: 

The Sandells “Dirty Water”: 

Radiohead “Daydreaming”: 

Bjork “Human Behaviour”: 

The Clash “Rock The Casbah”: 

The Clash “London’s Calling”: 

Joe Strummer and The Mescaleros: “Yalla Yalla”: 

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