Eli Finkel, PhD is a social psychology professor who studies interpersonal attraction, marriage, and how our social relationships influence our goal achievement. He is the author of the bestselling book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work and is a professor at Northwestern University, where he has appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. In his role as director of Northwestern’s Relationships and Motivation Lab (RAMLAB), he has published over150 scientific papers and is a contributor to the Op-Ed page of The New York Times.

Eli got our attention because his book points to some very important tips about how to make the best of a relationship during a global pandemic. We thought it would be good to check in with him. He also shared a historical perspective on marriage that is instrumental in understanding how marriage got to where it is today and why marriage is so much more complicated, for some people, than it has ever been.

Thanks for listening. If you enjoy what you hear there are three things that you can choose to do: first, leave a quick 5-star rating, second, write a brief review, and lastly, you could subscribe on our Patreon site at www.patreon.com/behavioralgrooves. Thanks for your help and keep on grooving.


© 2020 Behavioral Grooves



Eli Finkel, PhD: https://elifinkel.com/about-eli

“The All or Nothing Marriage”: https://elifinkel.com/allornothingmarriage/

Romeo & Juliet: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romeo_and_Juliet

Tristan & Isolde: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_and_Iseult

Anna Karenina: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Karenina

The Scarlet Letter: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scarlet_Letter

“Wild”: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2305051/  

“Eat Pray Love”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eat_Pray_Love

Netscape Navigator: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netscape_Navigator

eHarmony: https://www.eharmony.com/

Nate Silver “The Signal and The Noise”: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13588394-the-signal-and-the-noise

John Gottman, PhD: https://www.gottman.com/

Brad Shuck, PhD: https://louisville.edu/education/faculty/shuck

Indian Matchmaking: https://www.netflix.com/title/80244565


Musical Links

Nirvana “Nevermind”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIGl_qth81c

Pearl Jam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM0zINtulhM

Alice In Chains: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWK0kqjPSVI

Red Hot Chili Peppers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlUKcNNmywk

Screaming Trees: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE5f561Y1x4

Poison: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCChxBSRo1Y

[NOTE: You may or may not know that Kurt and Tim host a sibling podcast called Weekly Grooves. We thought this was such an important topic that we wanted to share it with the Behavioral Grooves community.]

We got a call recently from Eugen Dimant, a friend of ours who is an associate professor in behavioral and decision sciences at the University of Pennsylvania, about how the University of Michigan was trying to let students know that they should only gather in groups of 25 of less.

Eugen suggested we tee it up as a topical issue for Weekly Grooves and we readily agreed. It led to a discussion about what colleges are doing to regulate student activites to contain the coronavirus, the punishments involved in breaking those regulations, the environment in which students make deicisons on how to behave, and the importance of proper communication.

Also, in this episode we include some of the conversation we had with Eugen, which is a departure from our standard approach and we hope you enjoy it. Eugen’s insights from a  sociological perspective make for important reminders in an age when when the words we choose to communicate impacts whether get sick or not people.

As always, please let us know what you think and share it with a friend or colleague.

© 2020 Weekly Grooves



Eugen Dimant, PhD: https://www.lps.upenn.edu/degree-programs/mbds/faculty/eugen-dimant 

University of Michigan Tweet: https://twitter.com/UMich/status/1299069416202739712

University of Alabama outbreaks: https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/29/us/university-of-alabama-covid-19-cases-trnd/index.html 

Eric Oliver, PhD is a Professor of Political Science at the University of Chicago. Although the majority of his work is squarely in the realm of how we view our political systems and make political decisions, some of his work echoes moral psychology and sociology, and we find it fascinating. And, frankly, some of it is just downright fun to talk about.

Eric’s observations come from more than 20 years of research, dozens of peer-reviewed papers, and he is the author of 5 books on political science. We specifically talked about how liberals and conservatives name their children, the rise of intuitionism, having dinner with a sports star rather than a rock star, and of course, he spoke in-depth about conspiracy theories.

Most importantly, he walked us through some key aspects of how to have a conversation with someone who is on the opposite side of the conspiracy-theory belief system and, interestingly enough, it begins with empathy. Listen to the entire episode to hear all his insights and research anecdotes. They’ll put a smile on your face as well as fresh ideas into your brain!

We have been fans of his work for some time and are grateful that Eric shared his insights with us. We think you’ll become a fan, too, if you’re not already one.

© 2020 Behavioral Grooves



Eric Oliver, PhD: https://political-science.uchicago.edu/directory/eric-oliver

Jonathan Haidt, PhD: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Haidt

James Frazer, “The Golden Bough”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Bough

Katherine Surma on Credulity: https://www.jericoliver.com/uploads/1/1/8/9/118973414/surmaoliver3.5.18-final.pdf

Laurie Santos, PhD: The Joe Effect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GimHHAID_P0

Steve Kerr: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Kerr

Colin Kaepernick: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colin_Kaepernick

Charles Manson: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Manson


Musical Links

LCD Sound System: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqq3BtGrpU8

Kurt Weil: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Weill

Phillip Glass: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M73x3O7dhmg

Keith Richards and Chuck Berry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERVLy-ltjHs

Roy Baumeister, PhD is a world-renowned researcher known for his work on the subjects of willpower, self-control, and self-esteem and how they relate to human morality and success. Most recently, he is the author of The Power of Bad, with John Tierney, which explores how powerful bad experiences can be and how life is better when we seek out the good. We discussed a bit of the new book as well as some of his highly researched topics.

Roy’s peer-reviewed papers have been cited more than 200,000 times and he’s published more than 30 books. As one might imagine, our conversation was packed with insights into how we feel, think and act based on the complex ways we view and experience the world. We felt like we were starting a master class when we hit the record button and we love sharing this conversation with you.

Suffice it to say, we thoroughly enjoyed our conversation with this pioneer and we hope you do too.

© 2020 Behavioral Grooves



Roy Baumeister, PhD: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Baumeister

George Loewenstein, PhD: https://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/sds/people/faculty/george-loewenstein.html

“The Power of Bad”: https://roybaumeister.com/books/

Dan Gilbert, PhD: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Gilbert_(psychologist)

John Gottman, PhD: https://www.gottman.com/author/john-gottman-ph-d/

Suzanne Segerstrom, PhD: https://psychology.as.uky.edu/users/scsege0

Mark Maraven, PhD: https://www.albany.edu/psychology/faculty/mark-muraven

John Cacioppo, PhD: https://news.uchicago.edu/story/john-t-cacioppo-pioneer-and-founder-field-social-neuroscience-1951-2018


Musical Links

YoYo Ma: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1prweT95Mo0

Louis Armstrong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmfeKUNDDYs

John Coletrane: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsBbM5PIAHk

Miles Davis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqNTltOGh5c

Cannonball Adderley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN1SwOdbdBU

Big Bands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGq-eCoPSwA

Bix Beiderbeck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW7YYt0F-K4

John McLaughlin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHbLq694PoU

Stan Getz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqQWVrfjatA 

Snarky Puppy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk0WRHV_vt8

Ministry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXCh9OhDiCI


Susan Hunt Stevens is the Founder and CEO of WeSpire, a technology platform that helps achieve the company’s goals through better employee engagement. WeSpire delivers applications at scale including sustainability, diversity and inclusion; moreover, they enable employees to be recognized for shaping a welcoming community both inside and outside the firm.

We talked to Susan about her observations on the value of building diverse teams, the creation of the psychologically safe workplace, and most importantly, the ethical application of behavioral science. She shared seven simple questions, created by Amy Edmonson, PhD at Harvard, to identify the levels of psychological safety within her client organizations. We encourage you to consider them for yourself.

  1. If you make a mistake on this team, it is often held against you.
  2. Members of this team are able to bring up problems and tough issues.
  3. People on this team sometimes reject others for being different.
  4. It is safe to take a risk on this team.
  5. It is difficult to ask other members of this team for help.
  6. No one on this team would deliberately act in a way that undermines my efforts.
  7. Working with members of this team, my unique skills and talents are valued and utilized.

Susan’s insightful comments mix a passion for the application of good research and a desire to help build productive, profitable organizations that treat their people with respect.

We also want to give a special shout to Emily Wagner for turning us on to Susan’s work. Thank you, Emily!

© 2020 Behavioral Grooves



Susan Hunt Stevens: https://www.linkedin.com/in/huntstevens/

WeSpire: https://www.wespire.com/

Amy Edmondson, PhD: https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=6451

Nir Eyal “Hooked”: https://www.nirandfar.com/hooked/

How to Measure Psychological Safety on Your Team: https://www.business2community.com/strategy/measure-psychological-safety-team-01730787

“I Hired a Wife” article: https://medium.com/@chrismorgan_1657/i-hired-a-wife-and-my-career-took-off-16dc8ae481fe

Cass Sunstein Ethics Guide: https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2526341

Susan Cain “Quiet”: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8520610-quiet

Google’s Project Aristotle: https://www.inc.com/michael-schneider/google-thought-they-knew-how-to-create-the-perfect.html



Musical Links

Irish Step Dancing from Riverdance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B718RsboGEI

Drop Kick Murphys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw

Abba “Dancing Queen”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFrGuyw1V8s


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